A Writer’s World

Just bringing some of my old Tumblr posts over to this blog…

So, imaginary conversations play out in my head all the time, and while considering my latest improbable novel-setting, this popped into my head 😛

Interviewer: Your world doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. The laws of physics—

God-writer: Do not apply here. Or do so only when and how I wish them. It’s absurd to say that something doesn’t make sense in a fictional universe, a universe over which I am God, because of something you know to be true here and now. In this world.

Interviewer: Well, maybe you could explain how it works then? In detail?

God-writer: Nope. I have no need to. I’m a god, remember? We gods work in mysterious ways – we also have blessed and anointed whoever came up with that line. It’s a beauty.

Interviewer: But surely –

God-writer: No, no. We are immensely powerful beings, full of the essence of creation itself. We are vessels, pouring out that creativity, that power, and merely watching what springs from it. We do not know every detail – nor do we wish to. Some things have to be mysterious, even to us. Why, I once created the raw materials for a planet and watched it evolve into an enormous glob of bubblegum.

Interviewer: That’s crazy talk. I’m talking to a crazy person.

God-writer: I was amused by it, nonetheless. And somewhere else, I became aware that some other god had overseen the creation of a planet-sized mouth. You see? By chance and chance alone these things were created, and are, you would have to imagine, destined to one day meet though they are tragically separated by a gulf of time and space.

Interviewer: A planet-mouth? Uh-huh. What’s it do?

God-writer: Ah. That’s the curious thing. It has no throat or vocal chords, you see. Its giant lips open and close. Waiting. But I’m told if you listen real close, you can hear the Voice of the universe passing through it.

Interviewer: But you can’t hear anything in —

God-writer: *sigh* One day, those two planetary objects will meet. I know this. And then – then all the worlds, everywhere, shall hear the sound of the universe chewing. [mimes chomping, sloshing noises, and laughs]

Interviewer: Has this been a complete waste of my time?

God-writer: Only you can say. I’ve found it most enlightening.

[Interviewer sighs, packs his things. On the way out, he turns back.]

Interviewer: I don’t suppose there’s a planet-sized table out there, waiting for the used gum to be stuck underneath it?

God-writer: Don’t be absurd. Get out.

January 3, 2014
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